NRCC Summer Road Race – a car with a view

Report by James McAleese

Since I joined the club and arrived in Hertford I have never been around at the time of year for the Summer Road Race. Therefore I was totally unprepared for what was to happen during this particular day. Having missed a few committee meetings through a quite ridiculous end of year schedule at school, I volunteered late to help with the race. Andy suggested that I sit with him in the Assistant Commisaire car and help out “with a few things”. As far as I was concerned I was to pass Tony a bottle of water on the penultimate lap as he was the only one to approach us with such a request.
What a surprise to arrive at the HQ to find Tony there at 7.00 a.m. with a brew on and the race all planned and organised. Why then the two hours of Paul, myself and Andy needed? Well from the boot of the Audi arrives more CB radio power than you would find in a truck-stop car park on the US interstate, more flashing lights than the local constabulary on a high speed pursuit and sign upon sign…methinks we should be renamed the North Road Sign Club because we are better stocked than Argos for any type of race. Quite superb!
I am informed that the race Commissaire will be along shortly in his car. Then Bruce, John and Richard arrive in their cars to form part of the cortège. What??? Five cars in a road race plus two outriders??? I was thinking that the riders start from a line, whip round the Whitwell circuit a few times and we occasionally nip out in the car to see if they are all okay.
Lights get attached, CB’s connected and tested, the riders are all filing in and signing on. The value of the car park at HQ has increased considerably, due in most part to every machine being worth between 2 and 5 thousand pounds! There was a lot of dribbling from the assembled throng and water was hastily dished out to avoid the organisers dehydrating at the sight of such bike porn!
Then it struck me that we were in the presence of a slightly different breed of human being. The riders were saddling up on the carbon steeds and there were few above 5ft 11” tall, few weighing more than one of my thighs and to a man, honestly, I have seen more meat on a budgie’s beak! This troupe of lean, mean cycling machines then lined up the hill from HQ as we got into line with Richard as lead car ably assisted by Brian, whilst Bruce was second, Andy and I third, Mike the big boss at the back of the peloton and John bringing up the rear with the St John’s Ambulance crew on board. Radio checks carried out and then a slow shuffle through Whitwell to the start. A rolling start which meant that I had my first prized possession – the starting hooter! After a prolonged burst of aerosol flatulence they were off and cycling. Then the CB’s broke…
So picture the scene – I have my phone, Andy’s phone, one of the two remaining working CB’s – luckily the big boss had the other one – a start sheet, clip board, binoculars and pens all on my lap. The job was now to devise a system of how to alert Bruce and Richard about the race without giving all the shareholders of Orange a huge dividend. One beep of the horn means get a shift on and a flash of the headlights means reel yourself back in. All sorted. This system was relayed back to le grand chef and the racing continued. I then decided to make a few notes for this report. I will put the notes in as I wrote them so you can see what was going through my mind’s eye view whilst attempting to look out of the back window through binoculars, answer phones, use the CB under the pseudonym “Rubber Duckey” and mix currently UCI banned substances into Tony’s drink. What’s that Andy? Don’t mention the what…..? Oh well here goes:

LAP 1

9.15 – Bunch together into Langley, not too much traffic. St Paul’s Walden.
9.25 3 away
9.28 small group of 5 away.
LAP 2
At the start the peloton is together but a small attack by three riders from Heron Cyclesport.
9.36 – small attack but the group not letting anyone go.
9.37 – 4 away a 50 metre gap opens up into Langley.
9.44 - St Paul’s 3 away
9.48 – 15-20 riders together out of St Paul’s.
9.50 – Mondeo incident

This needs clarification because the outriders were doing a fine job of policing the corners and then leading the peloton, shooting off once more to deal with another junction or corner. It needs to be said that the Marshall’s also were doing an excellent job on every lap and that it looked very impressive and professional having so many people working with us and for us. Anyhow, the outriders just missed out on stopping a member of the public from joining the car procession and so it was now Richard, Bruce, Mrs Mondeo then us. Not a problem under normal circumstances but when, for one morning only each June, we cannot stick to the speed limit of 30 through a village for fear of being run over by 90 riders, it does become a problem. Picture the scene – Andy and I are going to soon become the lead rider’s dinner, Bruce is pulling onto the grass verge in his attempt to let Mrs Mondeo through who doesn’t get the hint; so we attempt to get by the Ford on the right hand side of the road whilst Bruce is helping with the combine harvesting and Mrs M is completely impervious to the carnage about to erupt around her. Nerves of tempered steel is how I would describe Andy at that time, driving as he was around blind bends whilst studying the country lanes ahead to make sure that nobody is about to hit us full on, whilst asking me to shoot the riders through between us and Mrs M. Bruce meantime has realised that he won’t pass his MOT with the bottom of his chassis missing so gives up his dream of being the “Whitwell VW Polo ploughing champion 2006” so pulls back onto the road.
Well by now we have been caught by the peloton and they are yelling at somebody – I hope it was Mrs M - and passing between the Mondeo and us, and via Bruce and the verge. Andy realises that perhaps he would like to see in his 46th birthday so pulls in to the left and files in behind the last rider. Poor Mike must have had a coronary at seeing us being expelled out of the back of the peleton amid clouds of dust and a few assorted bits of German automotive parts! Now back to the race…

LAP 3

Trevor in the 2nd pack of riders, George and Roger at the back of the race
The descent from St Paul’s – 45 mph – no. 66 nice tuck position!
SHORT CUT – allowing us to rejoin at the head of the peloton…

LAP 4

Team of 3 away – Milton Keynes I think 15 then 17 seconds gap.
10.34 – break caught. One rider bids to escape 10.37.

LAP 5

10.45 – Langley – group together (a recurring theme this!)
10.50 – 2 away St Paul’s road
10.56 – 2 away 200 metres from the group. Good teamwork being displayed by small ‘n’ tall (my only way of making out who they were whilst looking backwards out of the car with the seatbelt on!)

LAP 6

2 away at 15 seconds caught at 11.05 by another 6-8 riders. Riders trying to bridge to the front group on the descent into Langley. 2 away at 11.15 with a small lead.

LAP 7

2 away. No’s 42 and 72 with a lead of 15 seconds.

Well that’s the lot really. We missed all the exciting sprinting because we were following the last riders and noting those who were being dropped in the final kilometre or two. Suffice to say that the speed was really fast in the last two kilometres from St Paul’s onwards. After 6 laps of climbing at 20 mph the guys at the back were struggling to keep it at 18 mph, which is phenomenal as far as I am concerned after over two and a half hours racing! We passed 14 riders who had been given the slip by the main group. Unfortunately that included Trevor and Tony. Mind you we had to do 50 mph to get past Trevor on the downhill stretch…Tony was having the sort of cramp that is more associated with deep sea diving, but was very glad of his special bidon which I handed to him out of the window.
So after phoning the marshals to come in, we returned to HQ for a well earned tea. I hesitate to add biscuits because I felt a complete fraud depriving one of the Lord’s fit people of a biscuit having sat squarely on my buttocks for the past three hours! Luckily I saw Chris G tucking in so followed suit and bought the whole shop up.
I then spoke to the gallant North Roaders who took part in this festival of speed and endurance. They were hot, sweaty, a little more tanned than the night before and of course as all good sportspeople do, were talking about the ending that got away from them. So in I swoosh for some on the nose commentary…

Big’un (Trevor) – “Cramped up the last climb. Very disappointed – gutted in fact. The pace was fine, felt good.”
The Bish – “Glad to finish in the bunch. Felt pleased. A bit of hesitation would have perhaps gone for a long attack.”
Frank – “Flat bits hardest, feeling really tired. Got across to the front group one time, but was left with nothing in the sprint.”
Tony – “Surprised the race didn’t break apart – lots of 1st cats. So nice to see so many North Road CC riders.”
George – “S**t. My chain fell off…” Loving the honesty there George…

Well there you have it. My first experience of a road race. I was so impressed that I cannot believe every club puts it on like we do. Apparently they don’t and I am not surprised. The organisation must have been very time consuming. Very many congratulations to Tony for his sterling work, and also to the marshals, drivers, outriders, kitchen crew, administration team, the St John’s Ambulance duo and to all those who took part. What a fabulous way to say that the North Road is alive and well every year with this event and the Hardriders time trial. In fact it was so good that I am signing up to be an assistant commissaire myself…now where is that CB of mine?