London Cross league 11 - Herne Hill Sun 23rd December 2012

With the festive season upon us, and dietary  ramifications taking their toll, for once there was little enthusiasm to race two days prior to the big day itself. At the very last minute however four riders (Steve James, Dave Kiely, John McDowall  and Hannah Ormesher) decided they didn’t’t have “the miles” to make it to Whitwell and back for the Sunday club run. Opting for an hour in the London Cyclocross league instead.

The destination was Herne Hill Velodrome. Being south of the river it was a mythical land akin to Xanadu to John who had kindly volunteered his cabbie skills to act as Pathfinder through the city. At least until we crossed Tower Bridge at which point he became glassy eyed mumbling about being at the “edge of his knowledge” with an expression one imagined James Cook must have worn as he sailed into Botany Bay several hundred years earlier.

Arriving in good time we all started ungrided. Dave managed to get the best start sneaking off, followed by closely by Steve. Further back Hannah led John through the crowded first lap. The course was excellent. Starting on the grass inside the track the course led outside the stadium, leading on to a narrow concrete strip that hugged the low wall surrounding the banking (as the concrete strip was much faster elbows were out to ensure right of way), From here we were headed for a bit of derelict wasteland at the back of the stadium. Previous heavy rain and a race the day before had left a primordial soup of a course, that was however, easier to ride through than expected. And here was the major downside. Under the gloop was rubble, with the occasional corner of a house brick momentarily revealing itself, before again disappearing under the swill. It was clincher Armageddon, particularly as the mud required low tyre pressures to achieve some grip. 

The highlight of the course though was a massive thigh deep puddle/pond that required committed pedaling as the bottom was a combination of churned up mud, bricks and brambles. Someone had put some Fairy liquid in to add a nice bubble-bath effect. Unfortunately the aroma was more sewage works than Radox bath. Judging by the cuts on our legs afterwards, I think there may have been some Pirañas in there too! Throw in a scary steep descent, a run up, some muddy moguls and some tricky off-camber sections and you had the perfect course. 

Gradually John ground his way up to Dave and went in front and started to pull away, riding particularly strongly on the hard open sections inside the stadium. Unfortunately John was off his bike, derailed by a rear wheel puncture. Being about as far away from the pits as possible, he decided to cut his losses.  Meanwhile Hannah was enjoying herself trying to stay upright. Despite losing her back wheel a few times, she managed to somehow throw herself in front of the bike mysteriously landing on her feet. The steep downhill proved a little too scary, but she ran it to good effect, and despite dropping her chain once doing so was holding her ground and gaining on her female rivals. Unfortunately after about 35 minutes Hannah too fell prey to a puncture, managing to make it half a lap on a deflating tyre until a brick took the tyre off the rim. Being a disc wheel user with no spares in the pits it was game over. 

Dave and Steve riding tubs were immune to pinch flats but unfortunately not to stupidity. Dave was leading North Roader until he spectacularly misjudged a downhill corner returning into the stadium, sliding across the ground on his side for an eternity to such an extent the following rider asked if he was OK. He was. After losing more time air pedaling because the chain was off he was riding again. Approaching the moguls/muddy hillocks Dave spied a demented looking Steve James closing in like a Yul Brinner in Westworld. There were two schools of thought for this section, get off and run the lot, employed successfully by Hannah, or try and ride over them. Using the later method and with Steve bearing down Dave pushed really hard and was overtaking two other riders as they nearly crashed into each other. One took his foot out of his pedal and stuck his spike straight into Dave’s front tub (Eeeek...£££!)  As air hissed out Dave ran the short distance to the pits and changed his front wheel, not quick enough to prevent the marauding Steve from going past. Adding insult to injury on what would transpire to be the last lap the new front tyre (clincher) developed a slow puncture that although just about rideable allowed little control. Steve, who had been closing all the time continued to the finish line to arrive in 67^th Dave a dubious, but uncontested 90^th of 95 finishers. John and Hannah were part of an impressive 23 DNF’s.

To cheer us all up Steve mentioned he had crashed at the one place you really didn’t want to crash. We all knew immediately where he meant - in the swamp. Ironically he was the cleanest of us all. Must have been the Fairy liquid.   Report by Dave Kiely.