March Tortoise TT League 2017 Round 2 Results

Inexplicably, like turkeys voting for Christmas, the Welsh voting for Brexit, or Theresa May seeking an increased majority, North Roaders returned to the scene of the disastrous events of three weeks ago.

A small number of victims of the previous outrage were joined by an enthusiastic collection of thrill-seekers anxious to experience the legendary service and attention to detail for which the venue is famous. Making full use of the wisdom acquired over many years in his role, Club Captain Nigel Cameron was somewhere else.

With no other participants, results were vastly improved, with Latte and Lemon Drizzle Cake deservedly taking first prize in a time of 15 minutes and 14 seconds, a new course record. But in a return to form, Large Americano and Fruit Loaf somehow got lost and had to be collected by the broom wagon, while plaintive cries of 'Capuccino? Capuccino?' filled the air.

Friendly suggestions were offered on how times could be improved still further in future, greeted graciously by the organiser in chief wearing an expression you could open beer bottles on.