March Tortoise TT Results

Sun 21 May 2017

A packed field at the March Tortoise saw some disappointing times recorded.

A dry sunny day greeted the field at the March Tortoise cafe in Tortoise Street with upwards of twenty five North Roaders taking part.

Organisers had introduced an unusual two course format, with a long interval while all competitors completed their coffees before the cake course could be tackled.

Results were as follows:

1st: Regular Cappuccino and Apricot Sponge - 58 minutes 33 seconds

2nd: Large White Americano and Carrot Cake - 1 hour 2 minutes 4 seconds

3rd: Latte and Stale Fruit Loaf - 1 hour 7 minutes 25 seconds

There were several DNFs.

Club Captain Nigel Cameron had alerted the so-called cafe several days in advance, giving them plenty of chance to get their backsides in gear, and professed himself satisfied with the service, as his Decaf Banana Latte with Sprinkles arrived barely halfway through his interesting monologue on gear ratios, even though he had actually ordered a Soya Lentil Frappacino.

Other members however were on the brink of starvation and took matters into their own hands. Ashley Glass took the precaution of ordering several rounds of coffee and a 10 course lunch so that at least something came his way. Erol Senova made a daring solo raid on the Coffee and Walnut Cake counter, and Chris Dixon was reduced to scavenging in bins. Some of the slower and juicier-looking members of the party began to feel vaguely uncomfortable under the slavering glances of their clubmates.

Next trip to the March Tortoise is on Sunday 11th of June. Members are advised to take a packed lunch and 5 days worth of emergency rations.